I wanted to take some time to share with you about purity. Last week I was doing research on this topic and all that happened was an insane amount of frustration.
There are organizations that promote purity and sell purity rings and all the cheesy stuff that while cute sometimes makes me gag a bit. Then there are people who say well purity is impossible so lets just teach safe sex we don’t want our kids to do stupid things out of ignorance. Then there are people that just teach abstinence and how while there are other “safe sex” options that this is really the best way to insure that you do not get an STD or pregnant. The truth is abstinence is great and I support it but abstinence is NOT purity. Keeping our “little” girls and boys away from actually having sex does not mean we have succeeded in keeping them pure. In a world where pornography and the question of “how far is too far?” run rampant not having sex is a very small part of true purity.
Why can’t we just be real with our youth and with ourselves. True purity can only happen when we are in relationship with Jesus. No one is strong enough to stay pure apart from him, nor is there any real reason to stay pure apart from him. Not just a “Christian” or a “good kid” but pursuing Jesus and desiring his will above all else in our lives. Until we and the youth we are speaking to are finding identity in Christ how can we expect them to stop looking else where to answer the question “who am I?”.
Now do not get me wrong I don’t think that talking to your kids about purity is pointless. I do not think that we should just give up on biblical values if our youth aren’t reading their bibles. I am just saying I slept through as many purity talks as I listened to when I was in middle school. I have owned 4 purity rings and lost them all. I have made bracelets and boundaries and everything else that a girl who grows up in the church is supposed to do. But I also went to an inner city public school so I learned about safe sex, how to put on a condom and what birth control was before middle school ever happened. I had friends who lost their virginity in middle school. I was bombarded with information from both sides. Then when I was 13 I gave my life to Jesus. That summer I heard the purity talk that stuck with me. I set my boundaries and my standards for any dating relationships I might have. I have stuck to those standards and boundaries I am 24 and I have never been kissed. I am a purity poster child in some ways. But I am not naive and never have been. I watched as my friends gave “it” up. I watched as their hearts were broken and innocence was lost. Whether it was through sex, emotions or other avenues, they no longer believed themselves to be “pure”. Through all of my observing I knew that if I ever thought I was strong enough to “handle” a compromising situation it was already over for me. The song Jesus loves me spoke to me so much that first summer of my relationship with God “I am weak but he is strong”. I knew I couldn’t stay “pure” no matter how strong everyone around me believed I was. Weakness has, is and always will be my only source of strength.
The ONLY I repeat the ONLY reason that anyone stays “pure” is through relationship with Jesus. Purity through just not having sex is kind of a joke. As I said before communicating biblical morals and views to our Youth is so important and I do not want to belittle that. But make sure that you are communicating to them that we obey Jesus because we love him because we have a relationship with him. Because our identity is in him and he knows what is best for us. Purity is not a goal or a rule it is an entire lifestyle, it is who we are called to be. Pure, Holy, set apart. Not because we are strong and can do that but because Jesus can and does do that for us.
No comments:
Post a Comment